Paul's home services are going through another group of "leaving" from their pool of caregivers. This time, however, he is losing the 2 people whom have been working with him for the past year. The weekend gal, whom he developed a wonderfully positive and engaging relationship where he was growing leaps and bounds in communication and physical strength even with being in a wheelchair; and the gentleman whom takes care of Paul's medical visits, needs and training of staff.
What this means is simply that change is happening within his home and TBI does not have a space for change this sudden. What I have learned with most people, especially those with a brain injury, is change is not embraced and it doesn't come across easily.
For Paul, this means he responds in aggression and frustration to anything that happens within the next 24 to 48 hours. So once again, Paul broke his glasses and blocked his bathroom door to the new person, as she was NOT working with him in the way he has been worked with.
Honestly, I am very sad and even a tad angry at losing these two amazing individuals who showed my brother and me honesty, love, acceptance and a desire to treat Paul as more than his injury. As a man.
Of course, no one is perfect but sometimes there is an innate ability for one person to connect with another and these two did that with Paul. Life gets in the way of all good intentions and people move on with their lives.
What this means for my brother, and those who have similar situations, is that they lose these very important relationships and that loss is felt deeply.
Paul exists in the here and now.
His memory is very present, meaning he does not have the ability to remember what just happened however
he is unique in that he does remember people.
Those he likes and builds relationships with he cares immensely for and when they leave
it
breaks
his heart.
Thus, he acts out and connects new things and people to the feelings of abandonment and loss.
What can any of us do in this situation? A very good question.
One which I still haven't an answer to for myself. I can only "pinch hit" and work with his services in order to provide stability, familiarity and constancy in his care.
The turnover rate for home care and group care is increasing to where people are leaving within 6 months to a year after taking the position due to the simple fact that our government cares more for those who are not citizens or who refuse to work and providing them access to services that are needed by those citizens who work . Thus, cutting much needed funding that Medicare/Medicaid and Social Security needs in order to provide for our citizens. (I know most working Americans have no problem paying these taxes for this reason however...) This leaves no room for better pay for people who fill very tough jobs that care for those who need it most!
I get why one of our presidential nominees is angry. I am angry at this whole B.S. of giving handouts instead of handups and making those who do not ask for anything pay for those who feel entitled.
Paul is angry because of the pain caused by the necessity of his caregivers to find better paying positions.
I am angry because I understand that "the entitled" have forgotten that they are NOT
entitled to anything except equal rights to earn what I work hard for. Our government, in all their "righteousness", has forgotten what being an American truly means and where our responsibility truly lies.
When you give a man a fish, he eats for a day. TEACH a man to fish and he eats for his lifetime! (an old proverb that needs repeated everytime someone takes what another has worked so very hard for)
Think I will go fishing! Paul loves to fish!
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